Our Free Time

Werewolf??

As a biology major, I've always  turned to science for answers to life's big questions. Foolishly I scoffed at tales of fantastic creatures and terrifying monsters, dismissing them as nothing more than silly bedtime stories told by uneducated, non-metric-system-knowing peasants to their children to keep them quiet at night. But no more.  Certain events have come to light leading me to realize that the only possible explanation is that Suwda (SOOV da) my roommate and adopted Mongolian baby is in fact... a werewolf. I shall present my case as such:

Reasons Suwda is a Werewolf

1) She disappears mysteriously for days at a time.

2) She makes uncannily accurate dog noises and slightly less accurate frog ones.

3) She has razor sharp fangs and claws capable of flaying flesh from bone.

4) On my list of  '100 Things to Do Before I Die' she wrote "Have a house made out of meat".

5) She can be defeated with the use of silver bullets.

After some more careful observation I will add to this list...

xxoo H

What I am thinking about right now...

1. I love comment cards in the cafeteria! Even if they did censor my racy ode to coconut rice.

2. Pie charts are more true than words but less true than graphs.

3. There is never a situation pressing enough that it merits waking me up before 10 am.

4. Mentos really are the Freshmaker.

5. Female stick figures wear clothes. Male stick figures wear hats. NOT CLOTHES.

6. Putting your hands over your head and lying on the floor will probably not prevent you from being crushed by a falling building.

7. My cat is super bad ass. See?

8. Mariah makes an awesome Sarah Palin.

                                                  

9. If you didn't want me to call you one, then you shouldn't have cut in front of me at the sandwich shop you FAT SLUT.

10. I am shamefully inept at creating metaphors that accurately express my feelings about life.

11. If I were a boy, my name would be Quinn.

12. Why are there so many horizontal surfaces in the world if we are not allowed to sleep on all of them?

Academic Hangover

Today I suffer from an academic hangover which I define as the following:

The state of being so sick and tired from the bullshit of homework/studying/essays/tests that you physically and emotionally are unable to preform as well as a regular day

see: alcohol hangover

I don't remember much of the day, just the droning voices of my professors very much Charlie Brown style telling me important stuff about the UN, Anomalies, Revolutions and various other portions of academic mumble jumble.

The best part of my day was when Tim, the dashingly handsome German, innocently mistook Exxon Mobile for a phone company. (sorry Tim, the dashingly handsome part is so you won't hate me).... The thing is, I never thought about it like that, I guess I would think it was a phone company too if I didn't know that Exxon mobile was Satan's company pulling in record profits as it slowly eats away at our country's soul in the form of oil....

It's right up there with Wal-Mart and their amazing low prices.

Now I must figure out what my Jew project will be....

peace out gangstas.

M

p.s. I hate those goddamn bells!

Kai, You Should be Nicer to Me

Because tomorrow I am going with him for moral support as he suffers through a FIVE HOUR tattoo. That's FIVE HOURS Kai. FIVE HOURS of some heavily pierced, slightly stoned dude drilling needles into your back. And I will be in the SAME ROOM as the NEEDLES.  I might trip over a cord and hit the guy's hand while he's performing his art. Happens. I'm kind of clumsy Kai. Especially when I'm distracted by the slander you've been spewing about me, soiling my good name. I can find a new weird friend you know. One who won't call me a "wench" and force me to watch Star Wars rap. 

Think about it.

ooxx Hannah

Counterpoint

Mariah is a Bitch.

End Counterpoint

Dear Diary: Mood: Apathetic

Finally a post by the M of H&M. After Hannah's highly amusing post yesterday of the "scariest day of her life", it's time for me to blogg about my feelings and the events of both mine and Hannah's lives.

Today was a horrible day. I got up, went to my English class "The Art of the Short Story", which is more like a bunch of English majors over analyzing EVERYTHING.( Seriously, what if Mark Twain just wanted to write about two boys going down a river), then I went to the library and nursed a tall cup of coffee and a scone. I immersed myself into a bullshit essay about The Structure of Scientific Revolutions which made me use every power in my being not to chuck my laptop out the window. bleh

3 hours later, I had some Geo class that has officially made me HATE rocks. I don't know how my professor does it. Talking for 50 minutes, 3 days a week, about something I never even notice.

Now I have finally finished my paper and I'm tempting to do laundry. My life is a black hole, a bit like that emo kid song on youtube. Mood: apathetic.

Hannah is in the other room all rainbows and butterflies watching Arrested Development for day 120 while I write yet another essay on the Jews.

Oh today I decided I'm going to become an English as Second Language teacher, shit looks easy. (it's a joke all you non English as a First Languagers) I need to figure out a major that would allow me to do this since Poly sci ain't gonna cut it.

Someone asked me yesterday what I'm going to do with my Political Science major, the question I dread the most. I responded like I always do. "Go to law school or become homeless"

Did you know that they make Smarties in scones? neither did I

Peace out gangstas.

p.s. ask Hannah about Saturday night, I'm sure she would love to REMEMBER the good times she had.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdASTkfi91E

blah

Today was one of the most terrifying days of my life; I thought I lost my DVDs. I panicked, rummaging madly through my underwear drawer, backpack, fridge, and Mariah's underwear drawer... eventually finding them wedged behind my desk while I was trying to rehang my Flight of the Conchords poster. Thank God.  Now I'm watching Arrested Development and eating Ritz Toasted Chips - cheddar flavored. I need to find more interesting things to do with my time. Like skydiving or making lefse or something. 

Stuff I did today

1. Woke up

2. Went back to sleep

3. Ate a nutritious dinner  of salad and ice cream

4. Hated those damn bells

5. Wrote in this blog

Hotter than a Soup Kitchen..

It's Saturday here in Eau Claire and Mariah and I find ourselves bored and in need of activity. Last night we dressed up like the female members of ABBA and held an impromptu photo shoot, but it's not like you can really do that more than once or twice a month... so without any cool international parties to go to (and make an ass of ourselves at) and since we discovered we were not quite as great of songwriters as we had thought earlier today (not our fault- you try rhyming Al Franken with something other than spankin') we have decided to create a blog. Everyone else is doing it. And we are not those kind of people who can resist peer pressure. Ask a Brazilian... we won't tell you which one.