3 Things that Should Appologize

1. Candy Hearts:

You taste like extra strength ibuprofrin if it was accidentally stored with fruit, and yet you have no pain releiving properties.  So tell me, what are you good for? 

Nothing. Just give up (especially you, banana flavored heart. You know why).

2. Girl who Took my Clothes Out of The Drier and Left them, Still Damp, on a Table,

If I were to organize an outline about my feelings for you it would look like this:

I. You are a bitch who should not do laundry.

A. There were two open dryers besides mine.

1. I totally opened your dryer up with 30 minutes left JUST TO SPITE YOU. 

a. I would have thrown my gum in there too but the flavor was not gone yet.

B.  Do you realize you wasted $1.75 washing four sweaters?

1. Are you retarded?

a. Yes you are.

3. Ice:

You made me fall down and hurt my knee. What gives you the right to be so slippery?

 

Letters of appology can be sent to my email or dorm address. 

xoxo (but not to YOU candy hearts, laundry girl, or ice)

 Hannah

Say What?

Dear Bjorn,

We have some issues to work out.

I arrived at the birkie very excited to see you finish and whoop some butt. so I bet you can imagine my surprise when you came in SECOND!

Come on bjorn, ever since I knew who you were ( about 3 days ago) I have decided that you are god among men in the world of cross country skiing. I expected you use your ski poles and spear the competition.

On the other hand, an American beat you.

I only got one awful picture of you because you went so fast and, frankly, I didn't recognize you.

Notice there is a classic skier in front of you.


Love love love,

M

p.s. I really do love that you skied for MS. You still are my cross country god and I still love you. No hard feelings.

Counterpoint

Mariah is a Bitch.

End Counterpoint