Dear Fish,
We've had some great times together. I love the way you swim from one side of your bowl to the other and the way you puff up your little gills and try to attack me whenever I feed you. Remember when I dropped you on the floor and had to wrestle you into a cup with my hands? Or the time I threw a pillow at you in my sleep? Oh, those were the golden days!
The thing is... why aren't you dead yet? Don't take this the wrong way; I like you. After all, during our time together I have diligently fed you every so often and even cleaned your bowl a handful of times. But let's be real, you guys are two years old and not getting any younger. I think it's time you should start considering moving on to either the next life or to your own apartment so I can put something else on the shelf you occupy.
xoxo Hannah
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