I'm not going to sweden in fall due to missing paperwork.

On relationships and chainsaw dancing...

Poor Mariah! -and for the first (and hopefully last) time, no sarcasm is intended in that statement. I genuinely feel for my dear little roommate. Long distance relationships must suck immesurably. I know I couldn't keep one up; sustained soley by phone calls and Facebook, sleeping alone every night, constantly longing for the embrace of a tall, gangly Swede... I'd give up after about 4 and a half days. I don't have the emotional stamina that Mariah and Martin have. And I sincerly wish them the best....so that when they get married I can be a BRIDESMAID DAMMIT. Can wear a pretty dress and sit at the big table? Please? Think about it.

Anyway, the only qualm I have with Mariah's last post is this: what's wrong with making chainsaw noises, spandex and ballroom dancing 10 year olds? I'll tell you what's wrong: nothing, that's what. I'll have you know that after kittens, money, and 30 Rock, those are a few of my favorite things. In fact, I make chainsaw noises ALL THE TIME... WITH my boyfriend WHILE wearing spandex and watzing with a fourth grader. It's a hobby. So maybe think first before you imply that certain activities are undertaken only by those who are sad and alone and consider that maybe they are perfectly happy and just a bit odd. 

But you really should shave your legs darling. Remember I've got to see them everyday so let's not let ourselves go completely, eh?

xxoo Hannah

Conversation of the Day:

Jet- We kicked their asses FOUR times!

Me- But we've only played three games...

The Boy- And only won two...

Jet- But that's what I'm SAYING. We won FIVE games you guys! I want a REMATCH!

Me- Jet... I don't know how to say this gently, but are you familiar with the order of numbers?

Jet- Fuck you Tori! We won EIGHT games! 

Me- Out of three...

Jet- Hannah, I want you to have this: (*gives hug*).  We are the greatest team EVER.  

The Boy- Yeah you are.

Moral of story- Screw math. Numbers are whatever we want them to be. 

When I was young, I never needed anyone...

All by myself,

this song rang through the house today as I was abandoned for the fifth day in a row. There I was making french toast and french fries for dinner and watching the millionth episode of America's next top model, when I stopped and realized how pathetic I had become since Martin had left.

I mean when Martin was here I would never lay on the couch making chainsaw noises for a half an hour nor would I throw out my arm playing Wii tennis.

I wouldn't wear spandex leggings and do seizure like dance moves to Swedish techno dance music.

I would never dream of eating every chocolate substance in the house while watching some British tv show about 10 year old ballroom dancers.

I would never go without shaving my legs either.

Life has changed without Martin here, that is for sure.


Love,

M

Svenksa, ya

well hello people,

So I am finally back to write a bit about the life I'm sure you all have missed. So maybe you are tired of listening to how my roomie Hannah is not/is a nerd and how she does things, but who could really get tired of that adorable girl.

Well I feel I should tell you about my little vaca, or at least the best part.

Martin came on the 31st all the way from the land of blonde hair and blue eyes. While here he experienced many new cultural things.

Here are just a few things he did.

1.) eat mac and cheese, bbq, peanut butter, peanut butter cups, chocolate chip cookies/dough, elephant ice cream, corn dogs, pizza bites, and kool aid all for the first time.

2.) toured hayward in all it's glory

3) went into the ditch and pulled out by 5 strong men in overalls.

4.)went glow bowling

5.) learned how to ice fish with tip ups

6) learned how to let my brother win in all games

He left on the 13th and it was all very sad, so sad that I was prompted to fix this whole distance problem. I applied to college in Gothenburg, Sweden for fall 09. We will see how that goes, no holding our breath.

So this blog may go international ladies and gentlemen.

Love,

M

"That Ain't Right, It's got 5/5 with Bushido and Shit."

I Hannah, Destroyer of souls, Breaker of hearts, am dating a nerd.  A full fledged Magic card playing, D & D dice owning, Risk loving nerd. A boy who has on one occasion woken up early to eat Fruit Loops and watch Star Wars: The Clone Wars on Cartoon Network. 

Sometimes, at 2:00pm-2:05pm (the time slot I usually use to ponder life's great mysteries) I sit and wonder to myself how this happened. How have I stayed in a happy relationship for 3 months with someone who I would have cheerfully mocked to extinction in high school? It usually comes down to my shameful addiction to kittens. And also I was never informed about this aspect of his lifestyle at the start of our courtship. I mean I told him about the time I got drunk at a play about the Holocaust and stole latex gloves from the bathroom. Quid pro quo, Boy. I ought to know these things.

But actually in all honesty it's not all bad. I've learned to ignore The Boy's disturbing knowledge of text based RPG games and to concentrate on his more positive attributes. Like his cute ass and ownership of not one, but two adorable kittens.  Actually, now that I think about it he has a lot of good characteristics; he laughs at my jokes, he's intelligent and capable of holding an interesting conversation, and most importantly he understands my particular brand of crazy and rarely looks at me strangely when I ask things like "How can a pitcher of Koolade get off?"

Hmmm... I've thought about it, made a pros and cons list, and I have decided that I like The Boy. And I will make this confession: I was once a nerd too. I grew out of it, THANK GOD, but in middle school it was an undenyable fact that I was not very cool. I confess:

*I have played to completion both Baulder's Gate 1 and 2 as well as Icewind Dale 

* What the hell, I also did all the Tomb Raiders, and Half Lifes and would have played F.E.A.R. if it didn't scare me so much

* I loved the book Ender's Game

* I think Han Solo is hot

* I secretly wish I were Storm from the X-Men so I could wear that sweetass catsuit and electrocute bad guys

*Airsoft is kind of fun

Whew. Feels good to get that off my chest.

xxoo Hannah

Sometimes I Do Things Pt III: Holiday Edition

So I didn't get an extra job, clean the house, or do any volunteer work over winter break. Big Whoop. Here are some things I did do:

1. I painted my bathroom. Now when I pee I feel as if I am swimming in a tranquil sea of blue.

2. I found the world's gayest mannequin at Boston Store... and then posed for a picture with it to show my pride and acceptance of its brave lifestyle choice.

3. I read not one but TWO books, The Last Lecture and Ender's Game. That's right. I can read.

4. I spoke Spanish to a Mexican cleaning crew and assured them that the house was not haunted and that they could stop yelling "La puerta! La puerta!" whenever I opened my door.

5. Laundry. Lots and lots of laundry.

So to all those who would tell you I am not productive: screw you biotches.

xxoo Hannah

Christmas Quotes

Because we are Godless heathens, Christmas with my family has always been less of a religious experience and more of a celebration of our collective eccentricities. My father and boy cousins spent most of the day playing Rockband in the basement, Einstein got a bath, and Mom spent a lot of time reading her new abnormal psychology textbook so that she could better analyze the lot of us. Here are some choice quotes from the last few days.

"(Mary) was pushing the Lord and Savior out her vag today, what did you do? Cook?"- Uncle Pete

"This fence is dangerous because someone could walk over and plant a bomb!"- Luke (age 7) while sledding

"I've farted 160 times in my cat Morgan's face, 280 times in my dog Leo's face, and 320 times in my fish's face."

"How did you manage to fart in your fish's face?"

"It's easy! Every time I clean his tank..." A typical conversation between Luke and I

"When I grow up I am going to be either a massage therapist... or an assassin." Luke (this kid is good with the quoting)

"And then the Lord decreed, "Thou shalt not farm bears."

"Jesus was raised by Vikings." Ellyn explaining why the Bible missed 30 years of Jesus's life

xx00 Hannah

MMMBoy

Dear Reader(s),

Life is boring in Northern Wisconsin.
Things did:

Went to Rice Lake to horrible mall for fear of staying home and gaining weight

Ate Fast Food, Weight gain imminent

Taught my brother about Jews

Spelled 8 bajillion animal names for book to keep brother entertained. Failed miserably when spelled buffalo wrong

Talked to Martin Andersson

Watched Pearl Harbor

The End

Love
M

Another Love Letter

Dear Pumpa,

9 days

Love,

M

A Love Letter

To the loves of my life (this one is for you),

I feel like we have been out of touch. Like pebbles on the beach, I too find myself drifting away into the blue abyss sometimes, but as always, I find my way back again. It has been too long loves and my heart yearns for your company. I feel the need to catch you up on my journey in this world.

When I was reading hannah's letter to life, I realized I too, needed to express my feelings through letter format. This semester has gone by so fast it is scary. I was feeling quite sentimental last night looking at pictures from school. I have had some very good friends leave me this semester. Suwda, the Asian love of my life, has gone to a far away land called North Dakota, where only God knows what sorts of dreams can come true there. Tim the German, as his title leads one to believe, will be going back to the land of Schnitzel and beer and Hannah, well she has gone home to the exotic land of Madison. I feel I need to appreciate the things in my life more, hence this love letter.

To Humphrey Bogart and Jamie Bond,

I am so glad that I have had the chance to adopt you as my own. You have changed my life. The flip of your fins sends tears down my face. You are growing up so fast. I remember the first day I walked into Petco and witnessed your mommies pick you out of all of your friends. It was a beautiful thing. I am so lucky that Hannah has decided to let you two spend Christmas with me. My life is full of joy when I clean your tank and feed you your color enhancing pellets. May you have all the happiness in the world.

To the Author of Scheisse! The REAL German You Were Never Taught In School,

From the moment I set eyes on your precious gift to me, I was in love. No other book has brought such happiness to me in German form. I am forever indebted to Johannes for bringing your blissful being into my life. Your treasure will bring me happiness on my sadest days and joy in those lacking there of. If only I could tell you how much it means to me to know how to say the f word in three different ways. May your cup overflow with joy.

To My Mt. Rushmore Tshirt,

Never have I found such company that I would constantly want to have you this close to my heart. You have brought a sense of uniqueness only observed by the bearded lady at the circus. I enjoy the attention that is focused on me since you were placed in my hands. For more than five years now we have been together and you have not only presented me with the pride of honoring four great men by wearing them across my chest, but you have also brought me comfort in knowing I can still fit into you beautifully. George, Theodore, Thomas, Abraham, I love you from the bottom of my heart.

To You Dear Reader,

Know that I love you, whoever you may be. Although I am often rude and insensitive, please know that I understand you may have feelings. Now please, have a very merry Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, non-holiday, new year.

All the love in my heart,
M