Showing posts with label holidays. Show all posts
Showing posts with label holidays. Show all posts

Monday, March 16, 2009

Madison




On Friday I survived the death-defying car ride home with Kai who amazingly managed to obtain a license despite having a very limited understanding of the meaning behind that mysterious white line that runs down the center of the highway. He seemed to get, at least in the rudimentary sense, that to collide with one of the many other moving objects nearby might in someway impede his ability to get to point B, yet when I suggested he maybe NOT swerve into oncoming semis I was scolded for making his already bad day more difficult.

Somebody needs to get his priorities in order methinks. Like perhaps putting "living" a few steps above "the right to use every lane simultaneously when grumpy" for example. But hey, it's just a suggestion.

Since then I have:
*Gone shopping 
*Eaten Indian food
* Worked out at the gym and then directly afterward ate an entire family sized bag of cheesy popcorn by myself 
*Explained to my mother that dolphins are in fact animals and that they do indeed belong in that category in Sculptorades
*Learned to knit scarves, dish rags, and pretty much anything else that is a rectangle or square

Who who knows what sorts of adventures I will have next?

xoxo Hannah

Saturday, February 14, 2009

I <3 You Boyfriend


February 14th,  a special day. Mariah is in a romantic tizzy and, except to eat and/or pee, she hasn't left Martin's disembodied computer head ALLLL day. She CLAIMS she went for a walk this morning... but she may be confusing food scavenging at the Davie's Center for exercise. That's ok though, she's cute.
The Boy and I are postponing our Official Valentine's Day Celebration until tomorrow as he must work double shifts all weekend. I threatened to kick his boss in the face, but I probably won't, as I am far too lazy to walk all the way up the hill to Red Lobster. Oh well. 
Valentine's Day is a polarizing holiday. It tends to turn even the most sensible women into sappy bundles of sentiment, or alternately, into bitter, love-hating crones. There is little room for people like me who just genuinely love chocolate, glitter glue, and undue attention. Plus all they have on TV today are Lifetime movies starring Sally Field and shows about skanks getting married. Even on Food Network. Jeez. 

Well I've promised to escort Miss M to the Davie's Center for a much needed chocolate run so until we speak again: whether you are a crazy emotional mess or a loveless spinster, 
Happy Valentine's Day from all of us here at YuBainaGangsta (so just Mariah and Me)! 
May you all get laid,
Amen.

xoxo Hannah

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Christmas Quotes


Because we are Godless heathens, Christmas with my family has always been less of a religious experience and more of a celebration of our collective eccentricities. My father and boy cousins spent most of the day playing Rockband in the basement, Einstein got a bath, and Mom spent a lot of time reading her new abnormal psychology textbook so that she could better analyze the lot of us. Here are some choice quotes from the last few days.

"(Mary) was pushing the Lord and Savior out her vag today, what did you do? Cook?"- Uncle Pete

"This fence is dangerous because someone could walk over and plant a bomb!"- Luke (age 7) while sledding

"I've farted 160 times in my cat Morgan's face, 280 times in my dog Leo's face, and 320 times in my fish's face."
"How did you manage to fart in your fish's face?"
"It's easy! Every time I clean his tank..." A typical conversation between Luke and I

"When I grow up I am going to be either a massage therapist... or an assassin." Luke (this kid is good with the quoting)

"And then the Lord decreed, "Thou shalt not farm bears."

"Jesus was raised by Vikings." Ellyn explaining why the Bible missed 30 years of Jesus's life

xx00 Hannah

Friday, November 28, 2008

Thanksgiving Confessions


Today I spilled a medium sized Cherry Coke all over the floor of the West Towne Mall, pretended I didn't do it, and then watched as some poor mall employees, already overworked by the havoc of Black Friday,  tried to manuver a large mop through the food court to clean up my mess.  I also tried on some clothes at the Gap and then scattered the sweaters I did not want in random places through out the store. Later I pretended to be napping so I could get out of unloading the dishwasher and just now I ate a delicious Snickers bar before I ate my nutritious pizza dinner. Sorry everyone. Sorry.

whew. Feels good to finally get all that off my chest. 

Happy Late Thanksgiving/Black Friday 
Because I know all you Swedes/New Zelanders have been celebrating 

xxoo
Hannah

p.s. Enjoy the picture of my adorable kitten Vader.