The Riz Master

Hannah and I would like to introduce you all to our dear friend Rizky. He has the sweetest blog, besides ours of course, and we would like to spread the joy we feel when we read his deep thoughts about being a bad ass.

http://southsideinnorthside.blogspot.com/

"Ladies and Gentleman, let me tell you about this man. He is the one and only the best one in this topic. Many have looked upon him. Without futher due, may I present you THe..Riz..Maissteerrrr... " - the great Rizky Hadi

Seriously, you won't regret checking this out.

keep it real,

H & M

Don't Make me Raise My Pimp Hand to you Bitches

Whoever is spewing this hateful slander doubting the obscurity of Mariah's posts, I advise you to stop lest I bludgeon you to death with your own ripped off arm.

She is plenty obscure and I love her.

xxoo Hannah

Obscure? I'll give you obscure

I have received feedback that my blogging wasn't "obscure" enough, while hannah's was. Well I'll give you obscure. buckle your seat belts ladies and gentlemen, you are now riding the obscure express...

Camels are like the giraffes special, less gifted cousin.

That's all I got.

Ok, back to my plain 'ol boring blog,

This weekend was quite an eventful one. Hannah and I experienced all types of cultures and even managed to get a free meal out of the deal. We attended the annual International dinner which was wonderful. We even met people from Uzbekistan, (which is now my new favorite 'stan' country and not that I had a favorite one before), and they managed to tell us they thought the cha cha slide was our "national dance".

We went to a '70's party on Saturday, that was cool too, especially watching rizky follow squirrels and insist hannah and I make "sexy poses by the tree".

All in all, the weekend was a success, besides the fact that I did absolutely nothing homework wise.

I'm sorry my blogs are not as entertaining as Hannah's. I guess I'm inferior in that sense.

Rambo

Random Fact: The song Super Freak by Rick James always makes me laugh.

love, peace, and all that jazz,

M

p.s. my google language setting is on "pirate", take that naysayers.

pumpa pumpa pumpa

Leaf or Blade of Grass?

Things I have learned the past few days:

1. Martin Andersson will buy me a pirate. (size 3)

2. Uzbekistan thinks that the Cha Cha Slide is America's national dance.

3. Brazilians are EVERYWHERE.

4. "You know bigfoot? He's nice."- Rafa

5. Rafa can't fit through the bars on the side of the bridge. We did an experiment.

6. Jamie is a "little Welsh boy" and he walks like a gay raptor when he's drunk.

7. Sam's Club has BAGS IN BOXES!

8. Rizky Hadi is the most amazing name ever... and he looks so cute in his little suit.

9. Sam steals his roommate's cologne.

10. Leaf beats blade of grass. Hands down.

11. Falcons make great fire alarms.

12. Suwda can eat 7 Mongolian dumpling things. At once.

xxoo Hannah

Futbol, football, soccer, your mom

So I should be finishing my essay that's due, well in 3 hours and I only am half way through... but I decided to write this blog.

So I'm sitting in the library and I plugged my headphones in like I always do and I went to my usual radio computer station, when bam

"@*@#@$##!@@$@# TUPAC FOR LIFE, hoes and bitches @#@ N****** f*** for life!!!"

I forgot that we were listening to Tupac last night at the highest volume possible. So literally everyone around me in the library heard that music blasting through my headphones, since I had to take them off if I wanted to save my hearing.

That was embarrassing.

Last night hannah and I went to the International Soccer team's game against some American team. I felt like a traitor on the international side... Hannah didn't have a problem.

My head cheered for my international friends, my heart is All-American.
My body took a nap because soccer is boring as hell if it's not World cup.
and only world cup because of that guy in the picture above... Fernando Torres.

sorry guys. GREAT JOB! .... I hear you won?.. Just kidding


ok ok ok. Hannah and I should have more stories after this weekend full of awkwardness.

so much love,

M

Jag saknar dig älskling

"Happens."

                "Zieh deine Hosen aus!"

"You give me 5 minutes!"

Mariah and I got bored- as we tend to do every single god damn night- so we did what any normal mature collegiate young ladies would do in a similar situation. We stole Tim The German's shirt and took pictures pretending to be him.

According to Mariah, if Tim were a chick he would be a hure..."Making her way across the border to sell her body." - Rizky 

He would also look remarkably similar to me. 

xxoo Hannah

P.S. Check out the ghostly orb on my boot. OooooooooOOOOooooo....

Mariah has "Explored" Foreign Lands...

She is "familiar" with geography. She knows the "altitude" of certain peaks. She's had her hand in a few foreign policy "issues". We all know what kind of "business" she does overseas.... 

Here she is boasting about her environmental activism and the importance of the stock market.

I tried to post this yesterday but for some reason it was moved to a post from the 30th >:(

P.S. Jesus would drink cocaine. And I would too. 

In the name of the Father, The Son, and the Holy Spirit, Amen.

xxoo Hannah

Would Jesus Drink Cocaine.. Yes

So cecilia sent me a card today full of the most random things I've ever seen in my life. That's where the blog title comes from. There was a post it note with Jesus on it that has a title "would jesus do it?" with little boxes that say "yes", "no", "maybe", and "hell no". She decided to write "Drink cocaine with Jesus" on there.

She also wrote "Come to Sweden or ABBA will come and kill you!"

This is why I love her, and why she is my best friend.

Anyways, I also think we should sell Texas to Mexico.
Maybe I'm just venting because one of my Poly sci profs is from there and I swear she is out to make my life and anyone else's a living hell.
shame on you Texas, shame on you.

I feel like I'm doing bad in all my classes, probably because I am. I did bad on my Jew quiz, that shit was hard. Really, and I only got 3 wrong, but they were worth so much.

Oh new development from over the weekend. I found out who the owner was of this popular restaurant from my town. Her and her husband and this guy always come in and eat at my restaurant I work at, I have nicknames for them of course (like I do all my favorites). Crazy Albanian woman is what I call her, because A. She might be crazy. B. I think she's from Albania. I don't know.
Anyway, she owns this restaurant and I never knew it. I think it's because one time she came in with her albanian friends (I think), and was like "The Jews are responsible for all the wars..... ohhh I love Lenny Kravitz"...

Now, the Jews are my people, so that is why she is crazy.

She left me a huge tip and I forgive her.

Oh, last night I told hannah that I had an International relations test today and she said I quote, in a sexy, seductive voice.
"oh you have lots of expericence in international relations.." hahaha
this is why I love her too


ok. back to work

love love love
M

I Can Field Dress A Moose

I refuse to dignify Hannah's blog with a response because she is

Dreckige hure


ANYWAYS, I'm going home this weekend to party it up Cranberry style. For those of you who do not know. I'm from the raving party town of Stone Lake where every first weekend of October we celebrate the miserable excuse for food, the Cranberry.

So I'm keeping this blog short, I won't go into details about last night where I lost all my dignity dressed up like Sarah Palin saying how I could see Russia from my yard.

keep logging to see if Hannah actually ever posts them.

Peace out gangstas,

M

p.s. I love hannah and suwda!

Sometimes I do Things

As I read Mariah's posts, I get the feeling that she's painting a slightly exaggerated portrait of our lives.  She's all like "Woe is me, I have to write Jew papers and read hard books and all Hannah does is take naps, eat, and watch Arrested Development." Well you know what Mariah? I do stuff too. Check it:

I do Suwda's hair and coach her on her singing (not to mention I have to deal with THIS every full moon)

I also do homework. Here is a picture of me doing it. I doubt Mariah has such photographic evidence of her so-called academic toils.

Yesterday I was a Mighty Warrior and I defended my dorm from invaders...Huns Beware!

I'm a good friend too; I'd even venture to say that I'm a better friend than Mariah. I braved rain and chilly weather to support Kai as he got his HUGE tattoo. I even deleted most of the embarrassing pictures I took of him wincing and crying in pain. That is what a good friend I am.

Wanna know what Mariah does all day?

This.

xxoo Hannah