Today I heard a girl in my dorm pee continuously and with unwavering strength for a full 3 minutes. I counted. At first I thought there must be a leak somewhere in the bathroom... I mean it doesn't seem possible for one person to expel that much liquid and still have enough left over for things like, I don't know, BLOOD... but when it finally stopped and I heard the rustling of toilet paper, I knew that there must be a human in there.
Girl in the bathroom, I do not know who you are, but I salute you. You clearly excel at the noble art of urination and you deserve to be recognized for your accomplishments. Your bathroom antics had me so perplexed that I had to wait until after you left to pee myself. That has never happened before. Good job.
xoxo Hannah
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