The clinking of Dr. McGillicuddy's against a UV blue bottle brought me back to the fact I was dropping my own mother off at a party.
What am I doing tonight?
Nothing.
Along the 4 mile trip to my aunt's house to drop my mother off at a jewelry party with a bunch of other 30 somethings I sort of spaced out, lost in thoughts.
Will I be going to jewelry parties one day?
Probably not.
There are few words exchanged along the journey and I pressed the the radio dial in haste. Music flooded the car which prompted my mom to add in out of guilt
"You could ask your cousin Alyse to come over and keep you company"
"She's 3, mom"
The silence resumed, but I thought I would ask her anyway once we got there. Of course Alyse said no. Figures.
My mom said goodbye and I resumed post in the driver's seat. Nike shorts, nice shirt and all.
I can explain. I wore the nice shirt so I could talk to Martin, I don't want him to see how pathetic I am. If it wasn't for him I some how find it hard to believe I would even brush my hair in the morning, let alone put on makeup.
I watched the fields roll by, dotted with country farm houses until I saw some kid walking along side of the road in a bathrobe, red boxing gloves adorned with a ninja hat . He beat his gloves together over his head, and I continued driving, too involved in my own misery to notice an odd thing for 5:30 p.m. on a Saturday, or well any day.
It's just one of those days where nothing seems to quite fill you, always hungry for more. I mistook my emptiness for real hunger and ate my weight in meatloaf. Now I just feel sick and empty.
Misery loves company, as the saying goes, and this misery loves meatloaf.
Love Love,
M
What am I doing tonight?
Nothing.
Along the 4 mile trip to my aunt's house to drop my mother off at a jewelry party with a bunch of other 30 somethings I sort of spaced out, lost in thoughts.
Will I be going to jewelry parties one day?
Probably not.
There are few words exchanged along the journey and I pressed the the radio dial in haste. Music flooded the car which prompted my mom to add in out of guilt
"You could ask your cousin Alyse to come over and keep you company"
"She's 3, mom"
The silence resumed, but I thought I would ask her anyway once we got there. Of course Alyse said no. Figures.
My mom said goodbye and I resumed post in the driver's seat. Nike shorts, nice shirt and all.
I can explain. I wore the nice shirt so I could talk to Martin, I don't want him to see how pathetic I am. If it wasn't for him I some how find it hard to believe I would even brush my hair in the morning, let alone put on makeup.
I watched the fields roll by, dotted with country farm houses until I saw some kid walking along side of the road in a bathrobe, red boxing gloves adorned with a ninja hat . He beat his gloves together over his head, and I continued driving, too involved in my own misery to notice an odd thing for 5:30 p.m. on a Saturday, or well any day.
It's just one of those days where nothing seems to quite fill you, always hungry for more. I mistook my emptiness for real hunger and ate my weight in meatloaf. Now I just feel sick and empty.
Misery loves company, as the saying goes, and this misery loves meatloaf.
Love Love,
M
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