Sometimes I Do Things: The Terrifying Sequel

Now normally I would be writing a scathing counter-attack regarding Mariah's latest post with it's blatant disrespect for my complex and interesting life and complete disregard of my writing style (you call that a list, Mariah?! My dead cat writes better lists than you!), but after some careful reading, observation, and analysis I have come to conclude that she was actually pretty accurate. 

For the most part. 

But again I feel I have the duty to: a) display my list writing prowess, and b) remind you dear reader (because there is probably only one of you) that despite my outwardly "lazy" appearance, I do do things. Sometimes. When I feel like it.

1. I support the futbol (or in English: soccer) team. And if your definition of support is, as mine is, taking a bunch of pictures of yourself and completely ignoring the game because you only went because you were hoping to get pretzels afterward, then I am pretty much the most supportive fan you are going to find anywhere.

2. I make* strawberry cupcakes.

3. I return my rented movies on time. I even have a Bloc

kbuster membership card thingy and everything. See these? I returned these.

4. I find Suwda, Mariah, and J-Dawg interesting places to eat everything in sight at.

5. I do laundry on The Sabbath.

*make= Boy makes cupcakes, I preheat the oven

xxoo

Hannah

And Next- "Laser Mission II: The Second Laser Mission"

  

For years I thought I was happy. I  lived in a comfortable home with loving parents, I wore the finest of clothes, I watched the finest of shows, and I had an awesome cat who could fetch. But this Friday my world was shaken. For on this night I had the chance to experience a little film called Laser Mission in all it's low budget, badly written, anti-Soviet glory, and I realized that I had never known true happiness until then. 

Tagline: His assignment: Find the world's most dangerous laser weapon or take the heat. Her assignment: Turn up the heat. 

Hells yes.

This work of cinematic genius follows Agent Michael Gold (portrayed flawlessly by Brandon Lee) as he and some blonde chick with a huge rack roam Africa in a bus killing black people, Russians, an Australian, some inexplicable Cubans, but let's face it, mostly black people, in a quest to get a big diamond and prevent the Soviets from destroying capitalism with- get this- LASERS. interestingly enough, there are no lasers in this movie.

Here are some choice quotes from my new favorite film:

Inexplicably Cuban Guard: [to Michael Gold] Ha-ha they're going to cut off your head mañana. 

Prof. Braun: You see, with the Varbeek diamond and my laser, I can create a nuclear weapon. (It's just that easy.)

Alissa: I'm Alissa Braun. How do you think I am? I'm hot, I'm tired, I'm hungry and I'm thirsty and I'm walking around in these high heels all day and I have blisters on my feet! And quit asking me such stupid questions, all right? And let me tell you something else, buster, you're not my idea of a dream date! You asshole! 
Michael Gold: That's Mr. Asshole to you. (Buuuurrrrrrnnnnn)

Dear reader, If I can impart one thing to you during my time here on Earth, I'd like it to be this: a life without Laser Mission is an empty one. 

xxoo Hannah