Dear My Friend's Turtle:
All of the fish in your tank are dead. Was it.... MURDER? I suspect so, yet I am still no closer to finding the killer. Watch your back.
Dear Lays Green Circle commercial:
WTF is with the circles? You sell POTATO CHIPS, not conformity.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jj1XNjrJ-EY
Dear Freecreditreport.com Guy,
Perhaps if you were not constantly singing catchy songs about your financial failures on national TV, you wouldn't have to live at a Renaissance fair. Or you could just get an APARTMENT.
You don't know each other, but you share the same birthday so I think you ought to be friends. Also I am too lazy to write TWO separate notes about birthdays. But anyway have a good one, to Martin: I'm sure there are tons of fun games one can play with a pen box and a Big-Fucking-Spoon; and to Tori: I hope you have a great time playing Halo despite the fact that I'm pretty sure they do not manufacture Wheat Thins laced with weed.
xoxo Hannah
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