True Life: I give Birth to Animals

In lieu of some weird dreams I've been having... 

The next time I hear a pregnant woman say "I don't care if it's a boy or a girl; as long as it's healthy." I am going to ask, 

"But what if it's a FALCON?!"

Young women today think that they've got a handle on everything. "I'd love my child just the same even if it were violently mentally disabled or had metal pincers instead of hands. I'm gonna be a great mother." 

Oh yeah? What if your child had razor sharp talons and ate only raw salmon and field mice? Do you know how to toilet train a bird of prey? No you don't because they don't write parenting books on that shit! When it comes time for little Jimmy to go to school, who's going to explain to him that just because he looks a little different and mercilessly shreds the construction paper during arts and crafts, it doesn't mean he's any less special than the other kids? Ladies, it would take real unconditional love, patience, and thoughtful parenting to raise a well adjusted falcon-human hybrid in a world clearly prejudiced against them. 

xoxo Hannah