Can't a girl play a simple game of Scrabble without having to help lug a strange German no one knows, nearly brain dead from a mysterious drug, to the hospital at 4 in the God Damn morning? Whilst having to deal with finals, Christmas shopping, and losing a roommate/werewolf (miss you Suwda baby!), you'd think that the Gods of Unloading Heaps of Shit on People could find it in their cold, black hearts to give a girl a bit of a break on a Friday night. But NOOOOO, that would be too easy.
Anyway, in light of current events, and since the end of the semester is upon us, here are a few of the most important lessons I have learned in my first semester of college:
1. Never underestimate the intoxicating power of Absolut.
2. It is possible to subsist for months soley on turkey subs and Dr. Pepper. You probably shouldn't, but you can.
3. Kittens are the best therapy.
4. Find people to stand by you and hold on to them with all your heart. Mariah, Suwda, and David, I could not have survived without you.
5. Mellow Yellow is "a lifestyle, not a beverage." But Mountain Dew is
still better.
6. "Friends keep score."
7. Sometimes first impressions are wrong. Take people as they come and be pleasantly surprised.
8. Family is super imortant.
9. Magic The Gathering is the single worst thing to happen to humanity. It is like heroin for nerds.
And of course, the most important of all lessons, the one statement I shall base the core of my existance on for the rest of my life (or at least for the whole of next semester):
10. At the heart of every crisis, somewhere, if you look hard enough, there is a German.
xoxo Hannah
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