Showing posts with label bitches. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bitches. Show all posts

Sunday, March 1, 2009

I'm T-Pain, You Know Me


Dear Thugs,

As the end of Sunday approaches, I feel the need to contemplate my week as well as procrastinate studying for my photography test.

First of all,I highly recommend you to watch this video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7yfISlGLNU

You know you want to.

This week was one that seemed to drag on for forever, but the things I did will look minimal to the things to come this week. Sigh.

I did do some fun things though. I hid a note in a digestion model in biology. I watched some weird guy air drum while waiting for lecture to start. I didn't fall as much as usual. Martin and I came up with an STD version of a Swedish pop song. (It's not our fault gonorrhea sounds so much like Cara Mia) I went to Target(!) and had Noodles & Co.

As you see friends, my life is like a mirror image of how T-Pain's must be. Bitches and ho's, bio models, and mother effing math.

OH, I have decided on my future career path in the motherfucking Swede land, bitches. I have decided that being an English teacher would be a perfecto job for me. I mean I could teach some teenagers what being a badass American is all about. I would have rap day, teach crumping, and drop it like it's hot.

Speaking of being a straight up thug. I decided that Martin and my future children should be raised like they call Compton home.

Picture this: A cute Kindergarten class full of blonde hair, blue eyed children ready to open their little minds to the world of colors, numbers, and kittens, when..... (cue the musical styling of 50 cent's P.I.M.P. )

Two small brown hair, brown eyed children role up in wife beaters and cornrows, flashin' ice like they be frozen. They acknowledge their teacher with a small head tilt up and take their seat while showin' their grilz with a snarl.

"Today class we will learn about animals."- innocent Scandinavian teacher (in Swedish)

"Bitch, we don't wanna learn about no animals."- our children

Adorable? Yeah, Martin didn't think so either. I think he pictures them more of a Van Trapp family singers also. (although he is pretty gangsta, looking at this picture)

Annnnyyywaayyy, I must continue to study.

Stay Fresh

Love Love,
M

Thursday, February 26, 2009

ummm, I have a question?


Dear Stupid Girls in Classes,

STOP ASKING STUPID QUESTIONS AND SAYING STUPID THINGS.

I'm sorry that I am yelling at you with these capital letters, but really, just listen to the damn professor.

You are in college now.

Generations of women have been struggling to get you to this point and you seem to set them back 100 years when you are more interested in what girl goes best with the Bachelor than who is in the Israel/Palestine conflict.

*Spoiler Alert, it's Israel and Palestine*

Now, I do not hate you. I just wish you would take things a bit more seriously. There is a time and place for everything. I like talking about Rock of Love with the best of them, just not during class when we are talking about the death and destruction of innocent people.

Oh and Stop saying "like" 5 times in every sentence. Super annoying.

"Like, oh my god, she is like soooo fake. He could like never go for fake boobs like that. Tre Trashy."

Love Love Your Concerned Fellow Female,

M