How I Meet People

Last night I had a dream. I discovered that all of the drawers and cabinets in my room had been stuffed with bags of different brands of multi-grain bread. I panicked because I didn't know which bread was the freshest, as these are the sorts of things I worry about when faced with absurd scenarios.

After I awoke I headed to Research Methods class where the girl who sits next to me had the audacity to inquire as to why I was typing "dream bread significance" into Google.

I told her. She told me that last night she dreamed she was babysitting a girl who rolled a Kraft Single into a joint and smoked it. Now we are friends.



xoxo Hannah

P.S. According to the internet, dreaming about bread means your are either going to make a lot of money or be plagued by children who will drain your resources.

A Letter to my Fish

Dear Fish,

We've had some great times together. I love the way you swim from one side of your bowl to the other and the way you puff up your little gills and try to attack me whenever I feed you. Remember when I dropped you on the floor and had to wrestle you into a cup with my hands? Or the time I threw a pillow at you in my sleep? Oh, those were the golden days!

The thing is... why aren't you dead yet? Don't take this the wrong way; I like you. After all,  during our time together I have diligently fed you every so often and even cleaned your bowl a handful of times. But let's be real, you guys are two years old and not getting any younger. I think it's time you should start considering moving on to either the next life or to your own apartment so I can put something else on the shelf you occupy.

xoxo Hannah