Superpoop Wednesday!

Courtesy of Drew at Superpoop.com, my inspiration when it comes to putting witty captions on photos. Enjoy.

superpoop.com

superpoop.com

xoxo Hannah

A Philosophical Rant

There are some in this world who would call me cynical, even negative. They'd probably tell you that it is people like me, with my disgustingly realistic views of society that keep us all under the iron clad grip of "The Man."

"How dare she suggest that we can't all return to a solely farming and trading economy and live in perfect harmony without the constraints of money or government? Has she no soul!?"

Well you know what? I do have a soul, and you can suck it. My proverbial cup may not be overflowing with mythical creatures and children's glee like yours is, but it is at least half full with something most* of the time.

I like to think of myself as less of a habitual dream crusher and more of a realist. If you can somehow make a reasonable case as to how synchronizing our thoughts into one universal consciousness is a practical solution to gang violence I would love to hear it. If you could incorporate a Powerpoint and bar graph into your presentation I would be even more impressed. However until you can work some sort of logic into your idealism, I will be forced to filter all communication I receive from you into the "whiny middle-class white kid who took an introductory philosophy class" folder in my brain.

* Sometimes I am legitimately a bitch. :)

xoxo Hannah

We Always Have Time for Nerd Pictures.

I'm sure we've all wondered at some point in our lives, "What is that kid in marching band thinking right now?" I'm happy to tell you we now have the technology to find out.

Who needs a shirt when you have jazz hands like this?

Guess who's the black sheep in this family? But to be fair, the cats are actually bombs.
When it's love, you just know.

Thank you to awkwardfamilyphotos.com for cataloguing these gems and for consistently distracting me from doing any actual work.

xoxo Hannah

Don't let This Happen to You.

Circumcisions, the existence of North Dakota, unemployed children... over the past year we here at Yu Baina Gangsta have made up and then raised awareness for many important causes. And even though we've surely filled our good Samaritan quota for life, we're far from finished!

November is officially "Stubbed Toe Awareness Month" so break out the champagne, tape some protective padding around the sharp corners of your furniture and prepare to be made aware.

Did you know that stubbed toes effect over 800 million people* EVERY DAY? That is more people than circumcision and North Dakota combined! Doing the math, that means every year 10 in 10 people are victim to this horrible condition. In layman's terms, that is every person in the entire world** . The stubbed toe menace spares no one; small children, pregnant women, dogs, everyone is susceptible. Even you.

Now you might be thinking "So what? I've gone to parties, smoked some grass, stubbed my toe. Big deal. Nothing bad is going to happen to me!"

That is where you would be wrong. Repeated toe stubbing may lead to fractures, misalignment of toes, impaired balance, and eventually death***. Is that what you want?

Stubbed toes are here. They are in your house, at your work, and in your children's schools. Be aware, wear supportive shoes, and watch where you and your loved ones are going.

xoxo Hannah

*estimated

** people without toes excluded from survey

*** from falling due to poor balance

Notes (You Know you've Missed Me)

1. Dear Shrubs: trip me once, shame on me. Trip me twice and I will take a picture of you, and then add degrading captions to it.

2. Dear Wesboro Baptist Church:

In recognition of your tireless work in the field of shameless douchebaggery even in the face of violence, ridicule and sunlight, I say unto you : Right back atcha bitches!

P.S. nice shades.

3: Dear laundry,

Do yourself. Kthanx.

Much love,

xoxo Hannah